Quotes from the movie

Buy the Shakes the Clown DVD at Amazon.com.
You can also buy the VHS video of the movie here.

Shakes: Fuckin' People!
1st Party Dad: Are you the clown?
Shakes the Clown: No, I'm Mary fuckin' Poppins.

Shakes: Hey, hey, kid, what are you doing?
Kid: I had to go to the bathroom.
Shakes: On my head?
Kid: Hey this is my bathroom not your bedroom you big drunken mess.

Dink: I asked her what time it was, she told me it was 7:30.
Stenchy: Oh, that's the cornerstone of a lasting relationship, what time it is?
Dink: Yes, yes. Because, first I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow I get to ask her the date, the day after that she's all over me. That's how it works, you play it slow.

Shakes: Look kid. You're a loser. Your parents had to pay grown men to come and play with you today, because kids collectively, on a whole, think you suck.
Shakes: Talk about a shot of whiskey, huh fellahs?!
After Shakes is shot and is saved only by his flask.
The following quotes were compiled by John Vandale:

Shakes: A, I'm not your pal, B, if you ever, EVER speak to me again, I'll twist your head into a fucking balloon animal.

Judy: If you wanna wun awound, chasing women and dwinking their beer that's fine, just don't make me look like an a-hole in the pwocess.
Dink: I've been busy
Stenchy: Busy?
Dink: Yeah, I've been juggling n shit.
Binky: You don't take the pretzel, I give you the pretzel.
Mime Jerry: You're a clown, aren't you Chuck?
Shakes: No.
Mime Jerry: No? (Makes Pinocchio gesture)
Mime Jerry: CURL UP CHUCK!!!
Shakes: Do you realize if I saw myself in the mirror right now I'd have to kick my own ass?"

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